A son’s gratitude

I have heard many fine eulogies over the years, struggled to give a few myself. The intention is to render tribute to the deceased and to comfort mourners with memories. 

At a funeral Mass Saturday morning at St. Leo’s Church in Baltimore’s Little Italy, a brother eulogized his younger sister who had died after a long struggle with cancer. It was a sweet, at times humorous farewell that appeared to be the last word by a lay person before the celebrants’ final commendation.

But then the son of Rosalinda Mannetta — today would have been her 68th birthday — walked to the lectern to say a few words about his mother. 

Except he did not speak about his mother.

Instead, Marco Mannetta said he wanted to address the people in the church — the friends, relatives, neighbors of the Mannettas of Little Italy.

I did not take notes nor did I think to record what Marc said, but I can paraphrase his remarks. It was unexpected, and unlike anything I’d heard at a funeral: I want to speak about you and thank you for comforting my mother. My mother had a lot of unhappiness in her life, well before the cancer. Anything you did — any act of kindness, any note or phone call, any joke, any favor, any visit you made, any encouraging word — anything you did would bring my mother out of a low mood and light her up for a day or two. You have no idea how much any small gesture meant to her, so thank you.

Rosalinda recorded the favors, small and large, that people did for her. After her death, Marc found that his mother had made notes about each person in the contacts listed on her cell phone. 

Her son was emphatic about the profound effects that small gestures had on his mother; he wanted us to understand their importance. While eulogists commonly thank mourners for attending a funeral, Marc’s gratitude went beyond anything I’d ever heard. And I’m sure he made every man and woman in the old church think and reflect, as we walked into the sunlight, about how we treat others from day to day, and how small acts of kindness can lift the spirits of someone struggling to get through the briars of life.